If you are reading this, you must have signed a piece of paper that has ended your marriage. Your marriage, which you would have thought, few or many years back is dream marriage with your perfect man, would last forever. But now, it has ended, leaving you in shatters. Now what, this can not be the end of your life or your dreams, happiness. You need to move on, in my words, if you want, search for your partner, start dating, and find your happiness. There is no harm in dating again, if it gives to happiness and allows you to dream again of a life with a partner. Firstly, you must stop mourning or dwelling on your last relationship. It has come to an end and thus, there is no point in thinking what went wrong or where you had failed or may your partner failed. Before you dive in to any other relationship or start to date the guy next door, it is essential that you have worked through your feelings and have made sure that you wanted a new relationship. Give yourself some time, gain back your confidence and then jump on the opportunities.
After you have realized what went wrong with the previous relationship. You are ready to give yourself a push for a new one and beware do not go on a date with those dark circles under your eyes after whole nights of crying or the bitterness baggage that you may share with your girlfriends who can sympathize you but not your date. He is bound to get bored if you carry your baggage of divorce on a date. Since, you are back in the game of dating, here are the few advices that you may need while venturing in to this new adventure-
How to date after divorce:
- Do not go on a lone date: this does not mean that you have to tag with group every time but also, since you must not have dated for long time, make sure that your friends are around you while you are dating. This will help you in being confident and cheery since you have familiar faces around. Also, your friends will do the best job in analysing the guy whom you want to hook with and will always shower their valuable inputs!!
- Keep the focus on yourself: the next step to follow in widower dating is – try to love yourself again. Get hold of yourself, maintain healthier lifestyle, invest in your looks as well as in spend time pursuing your hobbies. This will help you to feel younger and look younger. Change your wardrobe and include new styles in it for every kind of date: evening date, dinner date etc.
- Be adventurous: you must be getting jitters like your old college days before going for your first date after divorce. To save you from any nervous breakdown, try to do the pre date talking with your friends and remember one thing, life is a roller coaster ride, there are always ups and downs, but the essential part is, to enjoy the ride.
- Patience is the key: here comes the answer to your questions- how to start dating again? Be patient, both with yourselves and your date. If at any time you find that your mind is not yet set or a date, do not feel embarrassed about it. It’s important to give yourself time. Also, do not take it personally if you do not receive a call back from your every date. This may have happened to you when you were young, right? At that time, you dated for fun, not every time wishing for a long relationship from your date.
- Being honest with your date partner: with this advice, it do not mean that you spill the beans of your previous marriage or your divorce to every person you date after divorce. But there is quality called honesty which every partner looks for in his or her better half. Never lie to your partner and be honest to them if possible. After few dates, if you feel that the guy is made for you; do share experiences of your past relationship that you feel are necessary.
- How to date after divorce when you have kids at home: this could be a tricky situation and your kids must have also gone through the turbulent times of your divorce. So, before you take the step of dating after divorce, you can discuss this with your kids, if they are of the mature age and give them some time to adjust with the situations. A family discussion is best for discussing these things; so that every one is aware of what every other family member is expecting form their life. Also kids look up to their elders for models as how dating should be done, what it looks like etc.
- Resist the talk about your ex’s – this is the worst mistake that you can commit, particularly on your first date after divorce. Do not talk about your ex husband and never do the blunder of comparing your date with your date with your ex husband. This can easily put off the person and ruin your well planned date. However, do not evade the question if you are being asked general things about your ex husband as you do not want your date to grow suspicions about you.