If you are going through this article, chances are that you are already feeling bored in your marriage. Remember the time when you were young; ready to fall in love and planning a fairytale wedding. What happened now? Does your marriage deviate from the path that you thought it would follow? Or is it your partner? Do you get demotivated with the thought of spending time at home? If your answer is yes, then chances are that you are reaching middle age and have had enough from your marriage. Now, you want something new to add colours in your life. Well, the only options that you have my friend are to either look for a new partner or to change your attitude and improve the things in your life. The second one seems much easier and reasonable with lots of options available to spice up your married life.
Before you take any step to spice up your marriage, give some thought to the time that has flown by and you will be able to discover many new things about your life. When you were about to get married to the person whom you love, you had great deal of enthusiasm but what happened now? Has the love vanished from your marriage? If no, then why do you suffer from the lethargy in making efforts to make your partner feel special? The point here is that it is not just the time that has changed but our attitude towards life has also changed. Remember the time when you used to have fun, enjoy life and live it to the full capacity with your partner and compare it with now. You will realize that to add fun to your marriage again you do not have to work very hard – you just have to bring the “old you” back to your life.
As the married life proceeds, the responsibilities of the couple also increase. You eventually have to take care of not only your partner, but also home, office and kids responsibilities. Amid all these things, the couples loose out the bliss that they have when they were newly weds. With the following tips, you can take the help to add spice to your married life.
- Put Personal efforts to bring back love: what can be the best thing to bring back the love? It’s the time that you can give to your partner. Instead of buying your partner a gift from the counter, you can personalize it for the anniversary this year. Not only women but men are also great fan of the personalized gifts. A hand painted card or a craft can be a good option for the personal moment. When you spend time and efforts in something, the result will come in the form of love. It also allows you to save some money and will allow you to go to your favourite place for the dinner on your big day for celebrations. Investing time in small things will give you rewards by increasing the romance in your life.
- Small surprises – big love: be ready to give a surprise and also to get surprises. Every one loves surprises whether they are small or big. A surprise need not have to be in the form of gift only. Take the help of the activities also that your partner loves. You can plan a surprise road trip, short holiday to add flavour to your life after marriage. A bed tea for your wife can be a good gesture from your end as cooking is not only her job. You can also surprise her by preparing her favourite breakfast or even brunch.
- Divide the chores: nothing can put your partner in a good mood than seeing a shorter to-do list. When you have a day off, make sure that you share the responsibilities from your partner. Particularly men can take up this task to help their lady. This will also allow you two to spend some time together and will give your partner some time to focus back on the little sweet things of the life.
- Take out time for each other: we all maintain a calendar for very little things but how many of you have marked the time for each other. There are very few couples who realize the importance of spending time together. Do not just mark the birthdays and anniversaries. Try to make ordinary days into special ones. Apart from the weekend, you can pick your days like national holidays to spend some memorable time together. This will help you to remember the old happy memories and will leave you to crave for more.
- Intimacy a priority: few years in to marriage or having kids should not be the reason to have no intimacy. Intimacy should be a priority among the couples. Just because you have grown older does not mean that you no longer love sex. Always keep some time for your intimate moments even if you have to wake up bit early. Nothing can be a best way to start the day with some intimacy. A quick kiss, a warm hug, an adventurous love making are the best ways to spice up your married life.
- Forgiveness is the key: do not loose your temper easily. Your partner may not be perfect at certain things but then everybody is different. Couples tend to loose their happiness with constant shouting and fighting. Keep it to the minimum level and before you get into conflict, give the reason a thought. Is it really worth to have a fight for the petty things or do they really matter? What impact will they have after few days? And if you really feel the reason is big enough, try not to blame your partner and have the sensible discussion with responsibility of your actions as well as words.
- Time off from the parenthood: you always love your kids and they will be your top priority. Here, by taking some time off from the parenting, we, mean that you should keep some time for yourself. Trust your family or friend to baby sit the kids and explore your love. Go for a date night, along with long drive to rediscover the love that you have lost. Stop being guilty of not taking the kids along as the bonding that you will share afterwards will also make your kids happy.
- Be specific in your needs: it’s not good to play the game “guess what I want” among the couples. Though you are sure that your partner knows you really well but he or she can not hit the right spot every time and this can put you off. Instead of following this long route of getting what you want, you can take the short route and tell your partner what you need from him or her. Be it the small household things or your fantasies in the bedroom, life is much easier for the person when you knows what to do.
- Sometimes self indulgence is good: indulgence here refers to the care that you show towards yourself. Before being husband or wife or parents, you try to be yourself. Women tend to take a back seat when they get married and have kids. On the other hand, this should not be the case as she is the backbone of the house. If she is not strong, the home can fall apart. Men, please notice that your wife is taking care of herself. Her health and body are the priority. This will help you in two ways – when your wife feels young and confident, this will add stars in your married life. Please remember that the healthy woman is the key to the healthy home.
- Relive the honeymoon days: what can be a better idea than bringing your honeymoon times back to add fun to your marriage? By honeymoon days, we do not mean that you go back in time to revisit the memories instead you should revisit the fun things. Plan a holiday, note down the things that you two used to do together to have fun. It can be anything – from outdoor games, art exhibitions,a movie, shopping, picnic or a long drive etc. that you used to do when you were newly weds.
- Switch the topics of discussion: while you are sitting with your partner, do not just stick to the boring topics to talk. There is enough time to talk about grocery shopping, school stuff of kids, your relatives’ talk, work load at the office , increasing bills etc. these topics tend to increase the stress levels and leave you upset. Instead try to have discussion on different and interesting topics, just like the way you used to have when you were young. Romantic and soft talks can help you get back in the mood.
- No electronics in your bedroom: guys, if you have a television in your bedroom, nothing can be a bigger threat to your marriage than a television. Switching on the television itself means that you are killing some precious time that you can invest in your marriage. After a day long work, when you get back to home and start viewing the television, you do not have any energy left to enjoy the family or the couple time. The idiot box is not worth to spend your night with.
- Get dressed up: ladies, if you have complaints that your husbands do not give you the attention that you desire, try to focus on the dressing that you do. When men have better women to watch, they will not focus their eyes on you. As the saying is “men will be men”, when a lady looks beautiful, half of the battle is won. Why do you used to dress up in your early days of marriage? This is because you want to catch your husband’s attention. Same is the case now, get dressed to surprise him.
Apart from this, there are many simple tips that you can follow in pour daily routine to get the spark back. These can be:
- Good bye kiss: Instead of your regular good bye, give a good bye kiss or tell your hubby that you can’t wait to meet him again at the evening. This will remind him of you all the day and he will be eager to get back from work as soon as possible.
- Sweet text messaging: Sweet text messaging once or twice in a day can make your day beautiful. Remind your wife or hubby that you are thinking of them even while you are at work.
- Try to have meals together. Having meals together can give you enough time to catch up with the chit chat from the daily life. If you two have offices nearby, you can visit each other few times a week to sit together for a lunch or coffee.
- Pillow talk– if you think talking is not the men’s thing; this is the time to catch hold of them. The best time to get your husband in some talking and bitching mood is while you two are in bed and relaxing together. Make sure you do not bore him with the daily talks. Bring on some nice and vulgar topics.
- Play and laugh: you are never too old to restrict yourself from playing. Enjoy a tickle fight or a pillow fight or massage game to have fun in your own way.
Marriage is a divine relationship and will take effort and patience from both ends to make it work. If at any point of time, you feel that you are missing something in your married life; it is never too late to go back and learn some lessons from the past when everything was so pleasant. It all depends on the couple when and how they want to add spice to their marriage.