Getting married is one big thing in everyone’s life. Marriage changes the entire course of life – from the way you live to the way you think. Many times, the couples are very anxious about their marriage. There can be several reasons that can lead to anxiety during the marriage like marriage preparations, premarital counselling sessions, thoughts about the after marriage life and many more. Though premarital counselling has become common these days with lots of young couples opting for it, there are several other ways by which you can take tips and learn the ways to make your married life blissful. Once you are married, the next important task is how to maintain the spark and happiness in the married life in the coming years.
The short period, of few months followed by marriage is often known as the honeymoon period as it’s the period of the maximum happiness with passionate love. Most of the couples believe that they can continue their honeymoon period forever but then after few months or couple of years, the time starts to take its toll and your blissful marriage seems like a shouldering responsibility. With this, the couples are forced to think that where have they gone wrong or what they can do to bring the old times back. When you look back, you can find many things that have gone wrong on your behalf in your marriage. However, these things come in to notice when they have already done the damage. Our advice is to take precautions from the beginning only so that your marriage does not follow the path of deterioration. A successful marriage requires patience, sacrifice and commitment from both ends.
Through the premarital counselling you can take an idea of what you are about to face in the future – the good – bad things and how to tackle the different situations in the married life. However, marriage advice for the newly weds can also come from the real life couples whom you admire- these can be your parents, friends and other family members. As the saying is, experience always counts, so when an experienced couple is giving you some advice or the married friends giving you some tips, do listen to them as they have an experience of marriage and what problems you may face as a couple and can know things better than you at some stage. Here are some marriage advice’s for the newly weds:
- Love is the key: first and foremost, do not let the love move out of your life. It is the bond that you two shares and value maximum when you are newly weds. Maintain the love and the spark. As a new couple, when you see the couples who are married for few years, you can see the spark missing in their life. Take precautions from the very early stage and rekindle the love every now and then whenever you feel that it is fading away. It is only love that has brought you together and will keep you together.
- Problem vs. couple: remember, whenever you are raising daggers, raise it against the problem but not against each other. Very often you see the couples embroiled in the fight for small things and eventually make them big. Whenever you face any problem, discuss it calmly with your partner and then stand together to face it. Make it a pact, during your honeymoon period that you two will not take the fight in to the bedroom. Taking your fight to the bedroom and let it hang over your heads till morning is the worst thing. Discuss and resolve it there and then only.
- Different perspective for different things: we all walk differently, dress differently, and have different food habits, then why cannot we have the different ways to work. Embrace the changes that you will see after the marriage in your life. The newly weds couples often face the problem of adjusting with the partner and may take them wrong for their different habits. Remember, that you are not the only one who can do all the stuff correctly; there are other people also who can complete the task even though in a different manner. You just have to give them time and pace to do it. Do not give instructions to your loved ones at every step they take. This is bound to make them feel irritated at one or the other point of time.
- Enjoy your couple “dates”: make sure that you keep going on dinner or coffee dates as often as it’s possible for you. Keep doing it even after your honeymoon period as it will keep the spark alive in your marriage. Dates are important to enjoy each other’s company and have some personal time with each other. Prepare for the dates like old times- get dressed, go for long drive, opt for a candle light dinner. With the passage of time, you will also have kids, and then also you can enjoy your date even along with the kids. Your equation with your partner should not change with the kids in your life.
- Rules of fighting: so, even after the advice of not fighting with each other, if you are having a fight with your spouse, make sure you do not call them by any abusive names, no matter how much angry you get. Calling your partner by abusive or insulting names during fight is strictly unforgivable. When you call them by such names, the entire reason for the fight is lost and all you are left with the bitter memories.
- Time for love making: enjoying the honeymoon periods? Do not be afraid if your honeymoon is over because it all depends on you as how you can continue it. Sex is an important factor in keeping the spark in the marriage. When you are newly wed, you have sex very often and regularly and also a passionate one. Keeps the chart going like that only for the love making, never say no to your spouse for the intimacy. Make sure that you have time to get intimate and enjoy different ways to get intimate.
- Good communication is vital: now is the time when you cannot take your eyes off from your partner. So, maintain it even after few years. You should not break your communication with each other. Try discussing little things from the beginning only so that you can get in to habit of talking and listening to each other comfortably. Few years down the lane, when you will get busy with other things in life, this habit will keep you close. Discussing the problems leads to the solutions.
- Your spouse should be your best friend: we always wish best for our best friends and never belittle them in front of others. Same is the case with your spouse. He or she is your better half. Support them in public and do not make fun of them in front of others. Always support them. If you make fun of them in public, they may feel hurt and will not be able to discuss their life with you anymore. This will slowly increase the distances between you two.
- Always appreciate your spouse’s efforts: do you like surprises that you often receive from your spouse after marriage? Your answer will be yes only but have you ever realized that how dull the life will become when these small things disappear from your life. Firstly, as a newlywed, make promise to yourself that you will keep putting effort in little things to make your married life special. Secondly, you have to appreciate the efforts that your spouse is putting to make you feel better. A warm hug or a sweet thank you note will do wonders in expressing your emotions.
- Listening is more important than arguing: though you should know by now that you have to keep your fights at the minimum level but even if you are having a fight, make sure that you also listen to the point that your spouse has to make. Sometimes, you may feel that you are only one right in the whole world but then unless you listen to your better half you can never know that they can have a better perspective of the things on which you two are fighting.
- Trust Unconditionally: this is the best advice that you can get when you are newly wed – never doubt the intentions of your spouse as you do not do it now. Even now, when you are hurt by something that your spouse has done, you forgive him/her by thinking that your spouse has done it with the good intentions only. Follow this practice religiously in future also and never doubt the intentions of your spouse.
- Saying” Thank You” to your loved one: usually love follows the rule “no sorry, no thank you” but we would like to bend this rule a bit. Be thankful to your partner as they are making your life great by their presence in it. Always find something in your spouse for which you can be thankful to them – these can be small things which they have done for you or the big efforts that they are making to smoothly run the house.
- Small gestures pay out big rewards: small gestures like a ‘good bye kiss’, a good morning hug are very important even after few years of the marriage. Just like you cherish these things now, you will cherish them in the future also. These small gestures play a big role in keeping the love and romance alive in the marriage. Make sure that you continue to do them in your daily routine.
- Put each other first: the rule for the happy marriage – keep each other at the priority level. When you are more concerned about your partner’s needs than yours, chances are very less that you will face problem s in the marriage. The commitment and confidence that you can put in your relationship act as the stepping stones to a lovely marriage.
- Importance of little things in marriage: very often you will get the advice to let go off the little issues that you will face during your marriage. It all depends on you. The issues that may seem little to someone else can be big ones for you. It is all related to the wisdom that you have as far as solving the issues are concerned. Think whether the things that are troubling you are related to the behaviors or the hobbies of your partner and then think whether they are too important for which you should confront them. You cannot change some things and they have to be left on the time to take the shape accordingly.
- Never take each other for granted: taking each other for granted can change your attitude towards the marriage after some time. So, do not take your spouse for granted, tell them very often that they are doing a good job in running the family and the home and without them your life will be incomplete. Make them feel good about themselves.
- Never let anyone come in between of you: remember, you two are the team. You can not allow someone to invade your personal space or to get involved in your personal matters. They can be family members, close friends, office colleagues or any other. Keep your talks personal as discussing with other people may offend your partner. Involving others increase the chances to worsening the difficult situations that you are facing.
- Keep your expectations reasonable: there is always a difference between the courtship period and the marriage, between the wedding and the married life. Accept the responsibilities and the changes in your life gracefully to have a happy married life. When you grow up, you need to accept the changes that re taking place in the life and take the decisions accordingly. Both the partners have the equal responsibility of making a marriage work.
- Break your routine: hereby breaking the routine means that do not get engulfed by the busy life once your honeymoon period is over. Take out time and do the things that you two have always loved to do together. There is always a new thing, a new adventure, a new dish, a new place to explore in the world. Enjoy your life to the maximum.
- Good finances for happy marriage: we can expect that you have spent a huge deal of your savings in the marriage ceremony and during the honeymoon also, but as a responsible couple you need to prepare yourself for the future. Note down the priority things in your life and make plan of the expenses that you need to incur. This will allow you to save the money for the future and will provide you the feeling of security.
- An honest marriage is a happy marriage: make it a rule on the very first day of your wedding that no matter what happens you will be honest with each other at all times. At times, when nothing is working out, your honesty can play a very big role in saving your marriage. It is the quality that will help you build trust in your relationship.
After discussing the above tips, you would have got the idea that it all depends on your efforts that you put in keeping your marriage alive. Neither these are the rules nor facts; these are the experiences that have helped people to have a happy married life forever. Thus, you need to take hold of the situations that you face and find the best solution for it. It all depends on you as a couple as how you important you take your marriage.