A happy marriage is a myth? When you are getting married, you have two thoughts in mind – whether your marriage will work or not. The kind of marriages that we see in movies does not generally exist but there are many ways by which you can make your married life special. Romance is not the only key for the happy marriage – there are hundreds of small things that you can do in you daily routine for the happy marriage. Most of the times, we overlook at these things and then gradually reach the stage where marriage feels like the burden. Here we will be discussing the tips for the happy marriage so that you can make your marriage perfect. Falling in love is followed by the bond called marriage; however, once you are married for few years, what’s important is falling back in love again but with your partner only.
Marriage is a journey which has its own ups and downs. The excitement that you have in the beginning of the relationship generally fades away with the time and the honeymoon period also gets over before you can even think of. Then starts the routine life in which you have to face different situations in life. The important task is that what to do in difficult times to make your marriage survive? Here are some ways that can help you keep your marriage lively and fresh.
- Do not change yourself after marriage: once you are married, do not change yourself and also give your partner the freedom for the same. Always remember the time when you two first met each other and had fallen in love , then you did not even know each other perfectly, forget the changes that you would want to bring in each other. You simply love each other, for the way you were. What happened after marriage? Why you suddenly get the curb of changing one or two habits in your spouse? The love didn’t fade away and also you have the same partner. So, try not to force them in to changing something or believing something if they themselves do not wish to do it. Very often couples fight among themselves for the personality and habits that they have but it is the same personality to which you got attracted in the first place. The first tip for the happy marriage is that stop fighting for differences that you have that you have, instead focus on the strengths that your partners have.
- Demands versus favours: marriage may hit the backseat when you develop the demanding tone. Always think before you demand anything from your husband or wife. Think of ways by which you can make your tone polite so that your partners do not feel like you are ruling on them. This is important because being bossy can be dangerous for your marriage. It’s always nice to be careful towards the needs of your partner and catering to them as well. A positive tone can change the whole conversation.
- Appreciation saves marriages: we love getting appreciated. Imagine how a simple compliment from a friend or neighbour can change your mood. Now imagine the wonders that these compliments can do when they come from your beloved spouse. Studies shows that happy couples never forget to appreciate each other. Be specific in your appreciation and tell them the reasons why you are appreciating them so that it feels real to them.
- Keep positive state of mind: again, a wonderful tip for a happy marriage – the positive state of mind. Even if you are going through rough times, the positive state of mind will help you to survive it strongly. Similarly, the positive attitude in daily life will allow you to see the positive side of everything. Develop the habit of noticing the right things of your partner instead of bugging them every time they do something wrong.
- Trip to the memory lane: happy memories build the happy times. As a young couple, you must have created lots of happy memories. The happy couples have the habit of glossing over the stuff that had made them feel bad and keep their focus on the happy memories. When you feel that your marriage needs to be pumped up – try rehearsing the old happy memories to your partner and how you two had the wonderful time together. You can feel the instant change in the mood.
- Always support your partner: Happy couples know when to take side of their partner – every time your partner needs you. Yes, you do not have to behave like a moral teacher every time your partner has something to vent about. You are the only person to whom she or he can pour their heart out and show the true feelings that they have about some one at the office or any place else. During the difficult times, you just have to tell them that you are with them instead of teaching them the right things that they should have done.
- Keep boosting your relationship: there are three key things on which any relationship works smoothly – commitment, security and trust. You can not sit back and relax if you think that you have all the things in your relationship. Everyone needs to work hard to keep the love growing. The happy couples need to constantly express their love each other and reliving the old happy times.
- Make small efforts for happy marriage: this is the greatest tip for the happy marriage. The marriage looses its love when the couples are distant from each other and do not have much time to spend with each other. In order to take out some time from your busy lives, you can adopt some daily habits that can keep you connected to each other. The simple things like preparation of breakfast on the weekend by the husband, managing laundry together, sitting down together for discussing the bills etc will allow you spend time with each other and indulge in talks. The great benefit from these things is that when you two are together, these things seem like fun.
- Paying attention to each other needs: hugging or kissing is not he only way to show that you care and love your spouse. There are several things that come and go casually among you two that need your attention. Knowing your partner needs religiously and what he or she likes and dislikes is important.
- Little things matters a lot – when you are married, remember that you need to have a happy marriage for yourself and not for the face book status. So, apart from the big things that you two do together like going on a holiday, dinner, picnic etc., you need to focus on the small things also. These small things like doing household chores together, holding hands, sipping coffee, listening to each other makes the relationship special.
- Communicate with love: If you wait for the weekend to spend time with your spouse, then your marriage can be in trouble. Sometimes we ignore the importance of communication. Regular and healthy communication is must to avoid the misunderstandings in your marriage. It is always great to talk out the things rather than keeping the issues on hold. If you are comfortable with your partner in talking about anything, it will be a bonus for you as then you two can handle anything together. If you do not have good communication skills, develop it with the help of classes, reading books etc.
- Financial dependency: in the tips for happy marriage, the finance holds the important place. Before you tie the knot, it becomes essential that you discuss the finances beforehand as how you two will handle the finance. When you are getting married, you should be able to discuss your financial needs openly with your partner rather than hiding your expenses. Expenses are ever increasing but if you two have a good communication and understanding among yourself, managing bills becomes much easier.
- Respect for each other: as people say, love is not enough for the happy marriage – other factors are also required like respect. Always respect your spouse as with out respect the marriage is not going to run smoothly. Show your partner that they are precious and deserves to be treated with respect rather than taking them for granted.
- Touch and intimate therapy: always make sure that you two remain physically close to each other. Physical intimacy is most important part of the marriage. No matter how busy you get with your work or kids, make time for sex in your routine life and enjoy it. Do not do it as a marital duty or favour to your spouse. Apart from this, quick moments like kissing, hugging and embracing each other from time to time will add stars in your daily married life.
- Your marriage should always come first for you: never put your other commitments before your marriage. Your marriage should always take the first place in your plans and spouse should take the priority position in your list. Small or big – sacrifices are needed to mold something in to good shape. Whether you do it or your spouse, important thing is that somebody has do it for the happy marriage.
- Relive the Honeymoon romance: if you are in to many years of the marriage and are looking for the tips to give emotional boost to your marriage, take a look back at your honeymoon period when you were newly weds and the ideas just popped up in your mind. How happy she was then when you had sent the fresh flowers just for no reason? Try sending them now and see the lost smile on her face. Ladies, tuck some private message for him in his briefcase before he steps out to make his day.
- Get involved in the conversations: for some time, please keep the grocery bills out of your mind and focus on more interesting things in life. Keep in mind the topics that your partner would like to discuss – it can be anything ranging from sports, politics, food or any thing else and start a meaningful conversation with him or her. Share your experiences, the funny stories that you about these and enjoy the fun time with each other.
- Do activities together: this one tip is very useful for the happy marriage – take up an activity that you both love to do and then do it together. Couples who do fun activities together eagerly wait for the weekend so that they can catch up some good moments with each other. If you are a health freak, you can try trekking and cycling together. If your girl is in to gardening, take out time to spend some time with her in the garden just to make her happy and you will feel refreshed.
- Talk about you daily calendar: always make sure that what your partner is planning for the day – but please, never ask with suspicious tone. You are doing it so that you know whether your partner is likely to have a light day or hard day full of meetings. Wish each other luck when you both step out for your work and if time permits you can try and have lunch with each other once in a while.
- Forgiveness can be bliss to your marriage: there are few things that are peculiar and you can not change them. Like, you can not always teach a man where the wet towel should go and similarly you can not always teach the girl to love herself the way she is- we mean fat or thin. So, let off the things that you can not control. Controlling every time will only make the case worse and will spoil the mood of both of you. Once you accept the fact that few things can not be changed, it becomes easy to live happily.
- Taking out time for yourself: once you are married, do not think that now you two would not need anyone else like friends and family in your life. The bitter truth is, few years down the lane, you will be glad that you had friends and family apart from your married life. Do not just forget your personal life after getting married, take out your personal time and enjoy it to the fullest. Join your hobby classes, go out with friends or simply spend the ideal time with thinking about yourself and how you can make life better as it will not only help you to grow as a person but will also help you to understand your relationship better. Do not feel guilty of planning a night out with your friends as it becomes necessity sometimes to get the fresh air out of your marriage.
- Do not build up your score: always remember this tip for the happy marriage – your marriage is not a match that you have to win at any cost. So, do not count on the things that you are doing or your partner is doing. Marriage is an institution and it is important to run this institution happily and smoothly rather than keeping an eye on the score.
- Experiences always matter: when was the last time you had a fight with your partner for a petty issue and then you both regretted it later. What did you learned from it? The lesson should be that whenever you face the same situation, you two will make sure to bring in your experience and will not fight like dogs for the small things. Also, what you did last time hurt your partner the most? Make sure, that you do not repeat these things again.
- Take care of how you look: when we are in love, we know that appearance does not matter much but once you are married for few years and your age starts taking toll on your body, give some focus on your appearance. You are still the most beautiful person to your partner but when you get compliments apart from your soul mate, it will give a sense of pride to your partner. So, get dressed up sometimes, hit the gym and maintain the body. When you feel young, you feel happy and it will impact greatly on your relationship.
Since we have discussed so many tips for the happy marriage, the last thing that we would like to remind you all is that marriage is based on few pillars – love, trust, honesty and respect. Always make your marriage a priority and focus on the little things to be close to your partner every time. Whether you have kids or not, always be available to your partner first as your marriage comes first to you. Assets in life will come and go but if the bond of marriage get weakens, it becomes very difficult to glue it again with the same trust and love. It always depends on the couple as how they treat their marriage, how hard they work to keep the love blooming and to remain passionately in love with each other.